"Could I ask you for a straw?"
"Arby's is my favorite."
"When you stare off, what do you see?"
"I want to know what goes on between your ears."
NARRATIVE SCRIPT: "but really, how are you?"
It’s a Sunday morning at a “Mom
& Pop” restaurant. Its 10:30
AM. There is a man, Collin, and a
woman, Kiera, at the table. The
two seem to be in their early twenties.
They both show signs of fatigue/lack of sleep in their physical
appearance. But this was the first
time they’ve seen each other for quite some time, so a little sleep deprivation
wouldn’t stop them. They were
chatting away while enjoying their coffee. It had been two years but the conversation carried like
they’ve never been apart a day in their lives.
Kiera: “I
heard you’re doing well in Boston.
Your career seems to be really taking off.”
Collin:
“Yeah, its alright” <shrugging>
Kiera:
“What’s that all about? If you
want to do something else, you shouldn’t torture yourself!”
Collin:
“Well maybe things will change” <shrugging>
Collin had always wanted to be a
performer in some sorts his whole life.
Being a musician or an actor, that was his dream. But the uncertainty instilled in his
youth to stay on the straight and narrow has always kept him from his
dream. He is like the elephant
that was chained a tiny pole as baby and couldn’t get away, so that mindset is
engrained into him. Even though now full grown, the thought of not being able
to break free from the chain makes him not even make an attempt anymore.
Kiera:
“One day you’ll be able to get out, and I can’t wait to see it.”
Kiera has always been the driving
force to keep on pursuing. In a
way, she is his muse. She has
always done what she wanted when she wanted. Collin always envied her lifestyle and mindset. That’s
probably why he always loved her.
Collin: “I
know, I know, I know.. but for the time being, I’m fine.”
Kiera:
“But really, how are you?”
By the look on Collin’s face, it
showed he hasn’t thought about it too much. He looked down for fear that she knew. She always could read him like a book. In that instant, he decided his dreams
were now or never. Collin looked
up at Kiera with a determined smile.
Collin:
“Don’t worry, happiness is on the way.”
Your writing is good. The very difficult thing is bringing all of the emotion, backstory and intention to the screen. The meat of this scene is in the narrative description but it's more internal. What can these characters do to get all of that emotion on the screen. There is almost too much hidden beneath the surface here.
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